Making Friends - Book Review

Before your child heads back to school after the winter break, and with New Years resolutions fresh in our minds, take a look at MAKING FRIENDS: A Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Child's Friendships. Noted author of Raising Confident Boys and Raising Confident Girls Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer explains how to react to friendship issues at all stages of your child's life.

Hartley-Brewer's Back to School Tips:

• Suggest a play date with one of last year's companions just before the first day to get them reacquainted.
• Don't be alarmed if your child is bad tempered and exhausted during the "back to school" months. He or she is facing heightened anxieties about friendships and social acceptance.
• Don't pressure your child to have friends over in the first month or two of school - home is their sanctuary. Let your child tell you when he/she is ready for a play date.
• Plan some fun activities for the two of you so that your child feels supported outside of school.
• Recognize that recess can be intimidating for young children because of bigger kids and social pressures.

In MAKING FRIENDS, Hartley-Brewer reveals that it's often a parent's duty to monitor and direct their child's friendships. And in fact, research shows that teenagers who have trouble making and keeping friends often had similar difficulties in their early years-so the sooner parents detect a problem and respond to it, the better. But how much is too much? And when is the right time? Hartley-Brewer addresses the dilemma of when-or how far-to get involved, showing readers how to strike a balance between intervening and stepping back.

Questions addressed in Making Friends:

• How can I help my child when he or she doesn't seem to be making friends at school?
• What should I do if I don't like one of my child's friends?
• How do I guide my children when "mean girls" or "bully boys" taunt them at recess?
• Is it ok if my child seems to have lots of friends at school but they never come over to the house?
• Should I worry when an imaginary friend sticks around well into first grade?
• What if my child is excessively shy?
• How can I monitor cyber-friendships and online bullying?
• What do I say if my child is upset about not being in the popular clique?
• What if my child becomes close with someone I find too manipulative or rebellious?
• What can I do at home to teach my child good friendship skills?

Hartley-Brewer provides multiple solutions to each problem, allowing parents to choose a strategy that works best for them and their child. Part guide and part exploration, MAKING FRIENDS delves into the nature of friendship, explaining the phases of friendship, friendship styles, and types of friends-from "best" friends to "bad" friends.